Major Mayhem

Play it, shoot the fuck out of a lot of stuff for endless hours of fun

Seth Macfarlene marathon

Family Guy then American Dad, avoid that Cleveland shit

Fart

Therapeutic, comforting, funny and sometimes smells interesting. It's like the ever giving gift

Let a blog take over your life

Push and push and push until it's a success, even if it's not in the end you've created something, be proud. I've got like 6 to deal with the boredom and misery, it's working too, when you see views notching up you feel as if you're successful, you might not be but it could be a start

Look at festival line ups

even if you can't afford them, you can find some new bands, listen to some music, maybe rub mud on your face and pretend you're there. Try not to cry, crying is counter-productive

Have a sleep under an elephant blanket

My girlfriend is currently sleeping away, smiling face, one leg hanging off the sofa, and why is she so happy, she's got an elephant blanket, that's right, buy one.

as Random Hand would say, Play Some Ska

Tesco

Have a wander to Tesco, it's a glorious place filled with amazing things and happy, friendly faces. Treat yourself.

Have a nice long sit down wee

I've noticed something, using the toilet is a lot more fun if you're sitting down. This to me is confusing as the majority of women I know are quite angry, I'm jealous of your right to always sit down to pee, it's such a beautiful thing. I do it mainly in the morning because my dick at that point is not having any of my bullshit, I finish up then sit there for a while just enjoying the aftermath, it's nice. Give it a go, it's a revelation

Go on a twitter trending topic and troll like a bitch

I'm currently giving as good as I can get on the subject of #10factsaboutme, it is one of the most fun experiences your can ever have as well as very challenging to keep up the wit. I've so far told a guy I once fought a bear, on the moon with a broken arm, and won, if I don't get any attention I will lose my shit, but for now I'm just proud that the reply I wrote came straight off the top of my head. Basically it's just a brilliant way to take your mind off of things and see that other people are really gimp and will share a lot online, whether it's important or not. Give it a go, you'll have fun, or be eaten alive by angry keyboard warriors.

Play some [Adult Swim] iPad/iPhone apps

So, onto the next piece of advice, get a bit of casual gaming done. Adult Swim, the massively popular TV phenomenon on Cartoon Network has a fine selection of totally bizarre and brilliant apps, my personal favourite at the moment being Super Mole Escape. The aim of the game is to escape the prison your character in serving time in, along the way trying to keep your distance from the guard chasing you, avoiding the lava and rocks and collecting power-ups and diamonds in order to buy more characters and update your current ones. Bare in mind this game can become quite addictive, think temple run going underground, if you need something to take your mind off of anything this game is a great shout.

Drink more water

I don't know why but recently I've decided to go on a bit of a health kick, I think it's fear of my problems and all the stress and stuff but I've noticed something strange since I've been doing it, I feel slightly better. I've been drinking more water, less Monster and Red Bull and just felt a whole lot better. I've felt less bloated, more active and the sweating is curbing. Good shit, even if it tastes of absolutely nothing.

Watch There Are No Innocent Bystanders

Last night I was felling rather shitty, life's seemingly at a standstill, debt is mounting, nothing is being sorted and I'm giving up, however I had an idea, go back to when shit was simple, so I did. I went back to my musical roots in a way, I did this by watching a documentary about the band that totally changed my young life, The Libertines. The movie in question, There Are No Innocent Bystanders is based around their history and their reformation for Reading Festival 2010. In a lot of ways it wasn't the music in the film which made me brighten up, it was the story of the band. The way Pete and Carl came from basically nothing, living in a prostitutes cage and pretending to be security, to then playing secondary on main stage at the UK's biggest music festival. In a lot of ways it has given me faith that I can turn everything around, even if it'll take time. So yeah, instead of me sounding like a reminiscent fanny watch the film, it's proper good like.